Empathy in the workplace
Empathy begins with understanding life from another person’s perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality.
I started reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and I can’t help but see the comparison between the central theme and what the greatest law in the Bible is.
To love your neighbor as you love yourself. To treat others the way you want to be treated. A recent incident at my workplace brings this to mind.
A patient was taken to the dialysis unit, and the procedure usually takes 3 to 4 hours depending on the needs of the patient. I was responsible for ensuring the patient’s safe return back to the ward. However, I had other patients to care for and had to ensure they were okay before leaving the ward. While performing duties, the doctor on call came in and was pissed. This was someone I saw earlier in the day, we laughed and shared pleasantries. But she was pissed and she made derogatory statements about my role as a nurse in front of other patients.
Now, I am a fire-for-fire kind of person. You either come correct or you get checked at the door and that was how I handled the case. I told her to not summarize my role as a nurse in such a derogatory manner and tone and left the ward to go bring my patient.
On my way to the dialysis unit, I realized why the doctor was pissed. You see, she was working in the emergency unit and was overwhelmed. Ideally, it should be two doctors but she was the only one as the other doctor was with the patient who went for dialysis in the procedure room.
I saw a lot of patients and their relatives in the emergency room which I believed triggered her. My anger quickly turned to pity. I have been there. I know what it means and feels like to have parents breathing down your neck and expecting you to perform a miracle on their child.
But I was still angry. My ego could not understand why I should smile at this doctor after her failed attempt to humiliate me in front of our patients. Thank God she took initiative and she tickled me. At first, I pretended I didn’t notice her, and she kept at it. I laughed and somehow, even without apologizing, we became cool.
When we had that altercation, it brought to mind some of the nasty things I have heard people say about this particular doctor. It felt like I was looking for reasons to not like her. But this doctor has been cordial with me. We are not exactly besties but we vibe.
My shift ended with both of us laughing and I hope she knows I am not mad at her. Any 9–5er knows sometimes work can be overwhelming, so I understand her.
I hope as healthcare workers, we will learn to focus on ourselves less and more on the other person, be it a colleague or a patient. Yes, people will treat you as a mumu and will most likely take advantage of that. This is why I advocate for what I call the normal-craze balance. Your colleagues should know that you can be crazy when you want to but at the same time, you should be as empathetic as possible.
Till next time, have an amazing weekend.
