How to build connections

3 min readAug 7, 2023
See connection. Reminds me of one of my mother’s wrappers.

Since David and I started Nkem, I have reached out to people I never believed I would reach out to. Some ignored me, and some responded, but I wouldn’t have gotten these reactions without reaching out first.

Now I have a mantra in case fear of rejection starts creeping in “ What will happen that has not happened before? Abeg.” Then, I proceed to reach out.

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So, today, I want to share some tips I have learnt from reaching out to people, which I believe will help you connect with people. Let’s dive in⬇️

1. Look out for people who can help you: Say you are building a business, and along the line, you realize you will need a lot of professionals. What you need to do is actively look out for these people. Build

2. Build it before you need it: It feels more transactional when you reach out to people at the point when you need them. Here is what you want to do: start building your connections before you need them. Comment on their social media posts, assist them when you can, be in their circle, etc. So when you eventually need them, you can go in for the kill without feeling guilty or transactional.

3. Don’t ask for too much; offer value: We all know that friend or family member who always needs help. Funny enough, that’s the only time they reach out. Once they are good, they disappear again. Don’t be like that. Don’t wear them down with your too much ‘asking.’ Also, offer them value and always lead with value. It shouldn’t be ‘this girl sef’ when they think of you. It should be ‘Sure. I can help you with that.’

4. Connect your network: Now, you have a list of people you know. Indeed, it will get to a point where they need each other's services. You are the connecting link; connect them. Let’s say David needs a nurse, and I know a ton of nurses. What do I do? I link them up! That way, you are offering value, sho ti gbo?

5. Do the work; find common ground: Ever wonder why politicians attend naming ceremonies of fellow politicians’ kids? Yes, to build a network. Do you think they don’t have something better to do? They do; instead, they choose to do the work. Show the other party they care (even if they don’t). So, learn something from our corrupt politicians. Invest in your connections, your time, resources, and sometimes your money. That way, when you call them, they will answer.

I hope you have learned something today, and if you didn’t, you just wasted 3 minutes of your time. Sorry.




Sharing lessons from stuff adulthood throws at me.