Lessons from Abuja
When I went to Abuja I imagined I’d bump into a rich northern man who is tall, dark, and handsome with an accent I can’t place.
We would start off as worst enemies as he would see me as a feminist and I’d see him as a patriarchal twat and then with time, we would realize that we are nothing at all like what we thought of each other.
And then we would become friends eventually, fall in love, and fight for our love because his mother has a vendetta against Igbo girls but she would later fall in love with me and we would live happily ever after, in our mansion and 3 kids.
Cut!!! This script is overused!
Well, that’s not how it worked out for me. I never bumped into any man, not even one. The guy I came close to liking was already married with two kids so I had to abort the mission.
For weeks, I worked like a zombie, woke up, went to work, worked, came back from work and slept. I was quality sleep deprived, homesick, broke, and single! Bad combo.
But I had my God, he never left me not even for once.
Anyways, real lesson time…
Abuja is expensive, I don’t recommend unless you are wealthy, emphasis on wealth, I didn’t say rich. They pay their workers peanuts (when compared to the cost of living) and expect you to work like a woodpecker.
Plus, 90% of the men there are married but you wouldn’t know unless you ask. So always ask. The good thing is, unlike their Lagos counterparts, they say the truth and leave the ball in your court to decide if you want to fornicate with them or not.
Additionally, connect with people. Abuja thrives on connection. Who do you know and who knows who you know is the other of the day there. Knowing nobody is like being broke, only this time you can’t call your parents to send you some money.
I once went for a job interview dressed in slippers, a head tie, black trousers and a top I can’t remember (was a social experiment). As expected I didn’t get the job, so don’t try that. If you want a job, dress like you own the place. People eat with their eyes before they care about what you offer.
If you are low on cash, always trek a reasonable distance before you board a cab or bike. It will save you #50 naira or more. It might seem small until you multiply it by 25 days a month, morning and night.
Be kind to everyone. A lot of people in Abuja are moneybags in disguise, I never got to meet any of them, or maybe I did but I blew it off. Anyways, be kind and polite to everyone, including the bike men, you never know when they will come in handy.
Be wary of men that are after your cookies. Men are hunters but Abuja men are wealthy hunters, they flash the fancy things before your eyes and let you come to them. Use your head. Sleeping with a man that’s not your husband is a sin o, call me primitive, but I don’t care.
Life in Abuja is fun if you are an extrovert, they are always having parties every other week. But let it be known to you that the more you go outside, the more money you spend. Balling in Abuja without a steady income is a sure way to being a mechanic in no time.
I just wanted to talk to someone so I put my words down on paper. I gotta go, see ya. Te quiero!
