Men in Abuja: Osaro

Do you think I am going to rape you?

My heart quickly skipped a beat as I heard the word rape. I have never been raped and I don’t wish to be. Why this man would bring up the word rape in our conversation beats me.

Working a 9 to 5 in Abuja is an extreme sport, especially if you live in Nasarawa state and work in Abuja. This means you have to wake up early to beat traffic. You might be lucky enough to get a free ride. Who doesn’t like free things?

And where I work is a shared office space, meaning different businesses rent out a space for a specific monthly fee, and this is where I met my first set of interesting Abuja men.

Osaro.

Osaro is a ladies’ man, rightly ticking all the boxes. I never knew I had a dream man until I met Osaro. He completely floored every guy I have ever had a crush on or dated.

He is tall, dark, handsome, and nerdy, but unfortunately married. The fragrance of his perfume will tell you that he is not a small boy. His clean nails were to die for, and I love men who take care of themselves.

He is the kind of guy that will mesmerize you with his words and talent.

Osaro is an architect, and I was always fascinated whenever he showed me what he was working on.

There was always something interesting about him or his work.

His curved lips and the way they moved, the dilation of his pupils whenever he showed me his work, you could tell he enjoyed what he did, and all these things, and a lot of things I don’t know, attracted me to him.

Osaro was too good to be true, too good. But there was something off-putting about him.

The way he touched me whenever we were talking: My laps (which I found weird but for some reason I liked it, I liked it very much)

He would squeeze my hands and look me dead in the eyes, and in return, I would blush. The way he emphasized my beauty and how he loved my height made me feel on top of the world.

Also, for the first three weeks after we started talking, he never mentioned his marital status. He always talked about his nieces, sisters, and nephews, which made me assume he was single.

But I knew better than to assume. I have been trained to always ask questions, and I asked.

One day, as we were having a conversation, I made up my mind to ask him. “Spill it, what do you want to say?” He asked. Well, I, I, are you married? I asked, praying that he wasn’t.

“Yes! she is from your state," he said with a smirk on his face.

My heart sank. Why God? Why? Here I was thinking my graduation from “God when” to “God did” was around the corner. Nawa o.

I knew better than to have an affair with a married man. The thought of being the other woman irritated my spirit, but Osaro fine gan. Snap out of it. I said to myself, he is married, look somewhere else.

As the days went by, my vibe with Osaro decreased. I stopped smiling widely at him because I didn’t want him to see that as a green light.

I also reduced my visits to his space. But for some reason, my heart yearned for him.

Being a good girl is not easy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

One day, I went to meet him at his space to talk about a project we were working together on. As we talked, he called me darling, and while it gladdened my heart, my conscience was quick to remind me he was married.

So I asked him, "Why did you call me darling?"
And he was like, "That’s how I am." I call my sisters and nieces darling. You don’t like it?

Not really, I answered. It makes me uncomfortable. Why? He asked, "Do you think I am going to rape you?”

Ahh! I found myself exclaiming. Rape me kwa? Then he let out a weird laugh.

Cut! That was it. My crush on him disappeared.

I started asking myself questions like:

Why didn’t he tell me he was married?

Why is he so quick to touch me whenever we talk? I mean he is educated, he should understand boundaries ( but I did not set anyone)

Why that weird laughter?

What will be the outcome if I decide to play along?

I knew I had to find a way to stay away, far away from Osaro.

And nothing made me more determined than the dream I had.

In this dream,
I saw myself following a man to a beautiful house, and while he was opening the door, the police came and whisked me away.

I expected him to come to my rescue, but he didn’t even look back. I woke up from the dream and immediately thought of Osaro.

After praying, I decided to read the book of Proverbs, and somehow, the chapter was about immorality. What shook me was Proverbs 7 vs 22–23.

Deep down, I knew God was speaking to me, and from my experience, no one ever disobeyed God and had it smooth.

Two days later, my boss and I moved out, into our own office building.

If there is something I learned, it is that married people are a different kind of trap. If you are single, avoid them!

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