Mother, What’s Wrong With My Breasts?

“Mother, what’s wrong with my breasts?”

It’s a question whispered in front of mirrors, asked in hushed tones, or sometimes never spoken at all, just felt in the quiet shame of comparison.

Too many young girls grow up believing that their breasts are flawed. Something must be wrong if their breasts aren’t perky, round, or firm enough. That their bodies must have betrayed them. And worst of all, they believe the lies that men and society tell them, that the shape of their breasts is a reflection of their purity, their worth, or their desirability.

Have you seen those demeaning social media posts suggesting that women with fallen breasts must have spent their lives hopping from one man’s bed to another?

I have. Countless times.

Somehow, there’s this absurd belief, particularly among men, that firm breasts are a sign of virginity or a “low body count.” As if the natural, inevitable changes in a woman’s body are a scoreboard for morality.

So, let’s talk about it.

Breasts Are Not a Measure of Morality

First, let’s set the record straight: a woman’s breasts do not sag because of sexual activity. The contour of a woman’s breasts is shaped by a combination of genetics, hormones, aging, weight fluctuations, pregnancy, and breastfeeding.

Nowhere in this list does “too much sex” appear. Because it’s simply not true.

But these myths persist. Why? Because for generations, women’s bodies have been weaponized against them, scrutinized, controlled, and used as a tool for judgment.

Breasts, in particular, have always carried deep cultural significance. In many African societies, they were seen as symbols of fertility, nourishment, and strength. Women walked with their chests bare, unashamed because their breasts were not objects of shame or sexual consumption, they were life-giving.

Today, that narrative has shifted. Breasts are hypersexualized, their value measured by how well they fit an ever-changing beauty standard. A young girl barely entering puberty is already burdened with the expectation that her breasts must be perfect, perky, and pleasing to the male gaze.

But let’s be clear: your breasts are not public property. They are not a measure of your worth. They do not need to be hidden, altered, or explained away.

Mother, What’s Happening to My Breasts?

To the young girl looking at her reflection and wondering why her breasts don’t look like the ones she sees on TV, in magazines, or on social media, here’s what you should know:

Breasts change. They always have, and they always will.

Here’s why:

1. Genetics: Your DNA determines the natural shape, size, and elasticity of your breasts.
2. Aging: Over time, skin loses collagen, and ligaments stretch. This is normal.
3. Pregnancy & Breastfeeding: These experiences can naturally stretch breast tissue, changing their appearance permanently.
4. Weight Fluctuations: Gaining or losing weight affects the fat composition in breasts, altering their shape.
5. Hormonal Changes: Oestrogen levels fluctuate throughout life, affecting breast density and firmness.

Breasts are not meant to remain unchanged. They grow, they shift, they move with you. And that’s okay.

On the Misogyny That Fuels Breast Shaming

Some people believe that women exist to be owned, ridiculed, and controlled. That our worth is tied to our physical form, our bodies dissected and ranked as if they are products rather than living, breathing vessels of strength.

Not all men think this way. But to those who do, I ask: what are you so afraid of?

Men and women were not created to be equal but to complement each other. Where men cannot carry and nurture life, women do. Where women lack a penis, men provide sperm.

So, the next time you feel the urge to shame a woman because her breasts don’t meet some impossible standard, ask yourself: Would a truly enlightened and self-respecting person do that?

To My Fellow Women with “Fallen Breasts”

To the women who stare at their reflection and wonder if they are “less than” because of the shape of their breasts, hear me: nothing is wrong with your body.

Your breasts are perfect.

They are life-giving.
They are life-sustaining.
They are life-protecting.

From the delicate mountain at the tip of your breasts to the darker halo that surrounds it to the full curve of the tissue that lies beneath, every inch of you is divinely designed.

Wear your body with pride. You do not owe the world an explanation, an apology, or a modification to fit someone else’s preference.

A Call to Action: How Can We Change the Narrative?

To my sisters:
- Walk into a room with your shoulders high and your confidence higher.
- Wear that strapless dress if you want to.
- Breastfeed in public if you need to.
- Reject the shame that society tries to place on you.

To my brothers:
- Speak up when you hear degrading comments about women’s bodies.
- Challenge your own biases, ask yourself why you feel entitled to an opinion on a woman’s breasts in the first place.
- Teach the younger boys around you to respect women, not just in words, but in thoughts and actions.

To all of us:
We cannot build a world where women feel safe, valued, and confident if we continue to degrade them based on things they cannot control. Let’s do better. Let’s be better.

Your body, your breasts, your power.