Some days it’s tough to see God’s blessings, and matters are made worse if you enjoy dumb scrolling on social media.
On days like this, you will notice that a certain Anita you met on Twitter just published her 7th book at age 21, and there you are, 23, and nothing to show for it.
On days like this, you will beat yourself up the most. There will be a movie only you can see. This movie shows all the times you made mistakes by letting go of supposedly good friendships and relationships. All the time you let great opportunities slip through your hands.
Then the little voice in your head starts judging you or throws a pity party for you. You sink more into sadness, and without knowing it, little Miss jealousy starts rearing up her relaxer-burnt head.
You might even be tempted to call up an ex or a former friend to hear their voice, but deep down, you know you don’t give an f**k about their well-being. You just want the same feeling you had when the going was good with them.
On this same day, you will be reminded of how much of a failure you are, and then you start fantasizing about those things you think will make your life better.
I see you relating to what I am saying, and that’s a reminder that we are all on this shitty boat called life. Some of us are allowed to sit. Some have to stand. Regardless, when the storm comes roaring, everyone will feel it.
So baby girl/boy, calm down. Oh, I forgot to tell you that sometimes, this particular day might overstay its welcome. One day turns into a week and a week into a month.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s a bad chapter, and how you respond to it plays a huge role in how your story ends.
So don’t call up that ex. He was a dick, maybe he has changed, but he should feed his changed behaviour to the lucky girl behind you.
Don’t call up your former friend either, there’s a reason you both stopped talking, and you will realize that reason as soon as you are done with this sad phase.
Here is what to do:
1. Don’t fight the feeling; feel the feeling: Cry if you need to. Bawl your eyes out. Watch your favourite childhood shows. Whatever you do, don’t try to fight it, feel the feeling.
2. Talk about it: Call a trusted friend or family member if you need to. If you have a hard time expressing yourself to people, imagine you are in a courtroom. Make a case for yourself and be your goddamn lawyer. It’s your court, so you will win.
3. Write about it: If you love to write, don’t let these emotions go to waste. Write them down. Imagine you are writing to your future self so explain to him/her how you feel. What better way to connect with our future if not with words?
This is the emotional phase, but you have to get logical at some point. This is where these steps come in:
4. Question yourself: Why do you feel this way, and what can you do to feel better? You are the easiest person to fool, so be brutally honest with yourself.
5. Identify things you can and can’t control: Make a list if you need to, highlight things you can control, and focus on them. For things you can’t control, let them be.
6. Get to work: You likely feel this way because you have made a comparison. Well, comparison is the thief of joy, you know that, but somehow you keep doing it.
You need to come to a place of acceptance. A place where you say, “I am worthy, and I can be more,” and let go of the “I am not worthy because I haven’t achieved this or that” mindset.
Remember, every day won’t be rosy, so suck it up and get back to work.
This is me writing to myself.