YOU: WHAT IS SCHADENFREUDE???

We have all been there, you hear the girl/boy you don’t like is having a bad day and you have this fleeting moment of happiness within you, probably she is smarter than you, or wants to be friends with your best friend, or you simply do not like her/him.

Schadenfreude is the experience of getting pleasure from another person’s suffering or misfortune. Why do we feel this way? In my opinion, there are different reasons to this which stems from one source, my reasons could differ from yours, it could be because of jealousy,envy, our insecurities or hatred.

Now I am not here to point fingers at anyone as this is a universal pandemic, but you’ve got to hear me out! Why do we feel this way? If we are jealous or envious or even hate them, why do we gain pleasure and a sense of accomplishment from their suffering? we let these emotions grow to the extent that it hurts us and we get physical symptoms like abdominal pain, palpitations, headache, chest pain etc.

All these boils down to one thing, ladies and gentlemen I present to you COMPARISON. It mirrors in on other people’s accomplishments and disregards ours, it gives us this sense of inferiority to other people, though for some people comparison fuels their actions to be better individuals or live better lives but to 90% of the population it brings out the green eyed creature in us.

How do we let go of schadenfreude???

1. Knowing the symptoms of jealousy or envy in you and being aware of them.
2. Understanding that you are not perfect and you can be envious or jealous of someone.
3. Understanding you have power over your emotions and control them.
4. If you must compare, compare downwards ( compare yourself to people you think you are better than) not in a demeaning manner but in a way of gratitude, knowing that you are blessed to have what they don’t have.
5. Consciously and actively avoiding comparison, do not compare(this I recommend)
6. Understanding you are not better than anyone and no one is better than you, and the feeling of being better than someone is self imposed and all in your head.
7. Understanding that someone’s blessings doesn’t negate the fact that you are also blessed.
8. Highlighting your accomplishments, count your blessings and name them one by one.
9. Pray. Pray about it. Talk to God and actively seek to avoid it.

The opposite of schadenfreude is mitfreude.

Mitfreude means Joying with. If you ever feel you are jealous or envious of someone, actively feel their joy, put yourself in their shoes, imagine the big news happened to you, dance if you have to. Don’t wait to feel like it because feelings are fickle, you must learn to master your feelings and emotions.
Unless you are channeling comparison into positivity, comparison will always steal your Joy.

Someone said; if good things are happening to your neighbour then that means goodness is in the neighborhood. Your time will come 👍